Your First Monday: How to Start a Brotherhood of Account

Chapter 10 gives the pieces of a brotherhood of account: a small number of men, a clear agreement, a simple gathering, good questions, a covenant, and a plan for when someone goes quiet. This page turns those pieces into a launch plan.

Step 1: Pick two or three men

Not a sign-up sheet. Not an announcement from the pulpit. Two or three men you already respect, or who you think would say yes to something hard.

"A threefold cord is not quickly broken" (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Three or four men total is the right size. It's small enough that every man can give a real account in one evening.

Step 2: Invite them plainly

Say exactly what you are asking. Here is one way to put it:

"I've been reading a short book on accountability, and it's convinced me I've been doing it wrong. I want to try something with two or three guys: meet every week and give each other an honest account of how we're actually living, before anyone asks. No curriculum, just the truth and prayer. Would you want to try it for ten weeks?"

A fixed length helps. Ten weeks is a real commitment, but it has an end date, which makes it easier to say yes.

Step 3: The first night

The first gathering sets the depth for everything after it. Plan it carefully.

1. Read Galatians 6:1–5 aloud. No discussion yet.
2. Say the agreement. "We are going to give each other an honest account of how we are actually living, every week, before anyone asks. We'll receive each other's accounts like brothers. We won't flatter each other."
3. You go first. Give a real account using the four questions. Not your worst secret necessarily, but something true and specific. Whatever depth you set, the others will match.
4. Let the others go. Then respond, pray for each man by name, and agree on who is calling whom this week.
5. Hand out the covenant. Don't sign it yet. Say you'll decide together at the end of the ten weeks.

If you can't meet in person

Life is busy, and a kitchen table every week is not realistic for everyone. A 30-minute video call can work well if you keep it tight:

• 2 minutes: one short passage read aloud
• 15 minutes: each man reads his four lines (three or four minutes each)
• 10 minutes: one follow-up question per man, and one true thing said back
• 3 minutes: one man prays for everyone by name

Between meetings

Many groups add a shared group text or a private chat channel. Used well, it lets men give account as things happen instead of waiting a week. A man who texts "Tempted right now, sitting in the parking lot" on a Wednesday is doing exactly what Chapter 8 describes: reporting before anyone asks, while the sin is still small.

A few simple rules keep it healthy:

• Accounts are welcome anytime. Say what happened, not everything you feel about it.
• Every account gets a reply from at least one brother within the day.
• Details that involve other people (a wife, a coworker) go in person, not in writing.
• What's shared in the thread stays in the thread.

At the end of ten weeks

Read the covenant aloud together. Ask each man whether he wants to say it. Some will. Some may not be ready, and that's all right. Those who say it have agreed to everything the book argues, and the group has become something most men never experience: a room where nobody is watching anybody, and everybody is telling the truth.

For the full meeting structure and question bank, print the free Leader's Guide.